'Fit In' versus 'Belong'

'Fit In' vs 'Belong'

 

We all have different reasons to work out... some of us do it for health, some for a beautiful body, and some to give us more energy, but all of the reasons lead to better self confidence.  Self confidence for some of us is what we might feel we need to better "fit in", but have you every thought about how fitting in can be the greatest barrier to belonging?  Let's examine the difference between fitting in and belonging.  Brene' Brown PHD explores this concept in a recent article.  She writes "Fitting in I've discovered during the past decade of research, is assessing situations and groups of people, then twisting yourself into a human pretzel in order to get them to let you hang out with them.

Belonging is something else entirely - it's showing up and letting yourself be seen and known as you really are...".  It takes a lot of self acceptance to present yourself as who you really are.  We all know people like that, usually artists, scientists or deep thinkers, and have thought "I wish I could just be myself like that and not care".  But, in the end, the need to fit in takes over and we mold ourselves to whatever group we are with.  If you think about yourself with your work group, close friends group, neighbors group, in-laws group, or partying group, can you honestly say you are yourself in all these different groups?

 I think most of us tweak our personality in order to fit in.  For example, have you ever joined in an office gossip group and agreed or even commented negatively about a fellow worker, but later regretted not stopping the gossip?  It is a survival technique in order to be liked, but in reality you are not being true to yourself.  In truth, belonging starts with self-acceptance.  Believing you are enough will give you the courage to be yourself in all groups or situations - authentic, vulnerable and imperfect.

Healthy Eats: Mediterranean Minestroni

Mediterranean Minestroni

Calories: 410 | Total Fat: 6g

3        medium carrots, sliced (1 1/2 cups)

 

1

medium onion, chopped (1/2 cup)

 

1

cup water

 

2

teaspoons sugar

 

1

teaspoon Italian seasoning

 

1/4

teaspoon pepper

 

1

can (28 oz) diced tomatoes, undrained

 

1

can (15 to 16 oz) garbanzo beans,   drained, rinsed

 

1

can (6 oz) Italian-style tomato paste

 

2

cloves garlic, finely chopped

 

1 1/2

cups frozen cut green beans (from 1-lb bag), thawed

 

1

cup uncooked elbow macaroni (3 1/2 oz)

 

1/2

cup shredded Parmesan cheese (2 oz)
 

• prep time
  20 Min
• total time
  6 Hr 40 Min
• servings
  5

 

Step 1:

In 3- to 4-quart slow cooker, mix all ingredients except green beans, macaroni and cheese.

Step 2:

Cover; cook on Low heat setting 6 to 8 hours.

Step 3:

Stir in green beans and macaroni. Increase heat setting to High. Cover; cook about 20 minutes or until beans and macaroni are tender. Sprinkle with cheese.

 

Nutrition Information:

1 Serving (1 Serving)

• Calories 410
  • (Calories from Fat 60),

• Total Fat 6g
  • (Saturated Fat 2 1/2g,
  • Trans Fat 0g),
• Cholesterol 10mg;
• Sodium 710mg;
• Total Carbohydrate 68g
  • (Dietary Fiber 12g,
  • Sugars 14g),
• Protein 19g;

Percent Daily Value*:

• Vitamin A 140 %;
• Vitamin C 25 %;
• Calcium 30 %;
• Iron 35 %;

Exchanges:

• 3 Starch;
• 0 Fruit;
• 1 Other Carbohydrate;
• 0 Skim Milk;
• 0 Low-Fat Milk;
• 0 Milk;
• 2 Vegetable;
• 1 Very Lean Meat;
• 0 Lean Meat;
• 0 High-Fat Meat;
• 1 Fat;

Carbohydrate Choices:

• 4 1/2;

*Percent Daily Values are based on a 2,000 calorie diet.https://www.facebook.com/guidingfitness

Free Yourself from Negative People

Free Yourself from Negative People

 

The world is full of negativity; from an unhealthy family member to a bully that never lets you 'off the hook'. They never seem to build you up and always tend to drag you down. I am not talking about the occasional bad day that we all encounter. We go through days where it is necessary to let all that negativity out. Everyone has their rough patches. The type of  negativity that tends to drag us down and effects our progression is the continual negativity from others.

If someone's toxicity is affecting your daily living, your goals, and your soul, it is time to do  something different. A simple yet challenging choice: free yourself of those negative people. That might not come so easy if that individual is a close relative or even a best friend. In the case of someone you care deeply about there is another route one may consider in order to preserve that relationship.

Let’s take a closer look at what you can do with a negative person you share a deep relationship with. Obviously, simply cutting them loose out of your life may not be able to happen; at least right a way. The first step would be to sit down and explain to them ]how you feel about their attitude. Let them know how it is causing you hurt and bringing you down emotionally. Forgive them for the negativity, they many not realize how discouraging they are being. Help them understand. Hopefully that person cares enough about you, they will understand where you are coming from and will make the decision to work on bettering themselves as well as their attitude towards you.

In this instance, set up a little bit of an emotional barrier. Do not cut them loose but more so protect yourself from further being affected from their negative personality. Keep an eye out for the good changes and help them reach a better spot. However, some people will not step out of the negativity and may continue to drag you down; that is when the next option comes in.

Give them blessings and release. The next best thing to do when someone is taxing your everyday life, is to cut them out. Free yourself from these toxic people. Easier said than done, right? We are all so worried about what someone will say or do if we decide we cannot move forward with them around us. We don’t want to hurt others, at least I don’t! When it comes to your health, your life, your success, and your goals, there may be no other option other than letting them go. So simply wish them the best and release that person from your circle. It may take time, it may be a hard and heavy decision for you, but if the first option of giving them a chance doesn’t work then what’s best for you is to weed those people out.

So remember these things:

1. Communicate with the person if he/she is worth the relationship.

2. Set up a small barrier (a probation period, if you will), give them a chance, watch for any good, bad or no change.

3. Wish the best and release.

Raising Happy, Healthy Children

Raising Happy,

     Our children's moods, or thoughts about themselves can change day to day, or even hour to hour, but their over-all self esteem can effect their ability to be successful in life and make the right decisions when a challenge arises.  Building that confidence requires constant nurturing and reinforcement.

     As parents, or significant adults in our child's life, you have tremendous influence over your child's feelings of self-worth.  You should start when your child is very young and help them develop a strong belief in their abilities.  As your growing child faces new challenges, be sure to let them know how proud you are of even the smallest accomplishments.  Also guiding them in decision making will help them recognize when a good decision is make opposed to a bad choice.  Kids make decisions all the time without being aware of it, so you can help the child see between right or wrong to build self confidence.

     Children are constantly talking to themselves.  It is important to encourage positive self-talk.  Pay close attention to what they think about themselves, as it can effect how they behave.  Studies show that a child who has high self esteem are better likely to have confidence to try new things, make social connections, resist peer pressure and effectively solve problems.

     The lack of self confidence in your child can lead to many negative behaviors such as depression, eating disorders, increased inability to say no to drugs or alcohol, and early sexual involvement.  This can also carry to adulthood and lead to addictions, obesity and other health and mental problems.

     One thing to remember is it is never too late to turn things around if you have made mistakes in the past. Get your child involved in sports, dance, art or even something as simple as helping prepare a meal, or helping take care of a pet.  Be certain to let them know how proud you are of every small accomplishment.

Celebrate You!

“Celebrate You”

So, I have to be honest…I have never been a big fan of “celebrating myself”. I guess it’s because I have always felt that statement sounds selfish. Selfishness is not a trait that I desire. However, over the years and now being a mother I do see where there is importance in doing this and here are some tips to how!

In life there can be hardship. For me, it’s been minimal and quite common things such as financial stress, relocating my family, and minor health issues. In the depths of those difficult times, I had discovered times of happiness and peace by doing what I guess one would call, “celebrating myself”.

For me this celebration has been in a few small things.

1. Doing Something I enjoy: So, I really enjoy coffee and lattes. If I can get a few dollars together I take a couple of hours out with my husband and girls, just my girls or rarely just me! I go to a coffee shop and enjoy a latte with my family who finds something to enjoy with me! McDonalds is a GREAT place for a latte that is delicious and cheap! *and it is no worse for you than one from Starbucks just FYI! ;-)

2. Being outdoors: I have found when I’m feeling down or stressed, a walk outdoors cheers me up quite dramatically. Something about the sun shining on me, movement and the peaceful state my children enter as we wonder about outside. It is amazing!

3. Cleaning out my closet and restocking slowly: I also enjoy going through my closet to see what I no longer would call “my style”. Perhaps some things don’t fit the same or I simply don’t like it anymore. I gather these items together and donate them to Goodwill. Sometime later I either browse around Goodwill, go to my favorite consignment shop or an actual clothing store and buy an item I really like to begin to replace what I let go.

These three things are very enjoyable, at least for me.

Now last, but certainly not least I want to say this. In all things, keep a good attitude. In times of stress sit it out daily for awhile to breathe deep, pray, stretch or do a little (or long) workout. Remind yourself of your strengths and research tips to help you strengthen your weak areas. Be confident in who you are as well. Quirks are a good thing…we all have them…no need to hide them. Everyone is weird in their own way. Uniqueness people- that’s all that is!

Sound good? Ok, then let’s do this!

Tips for Summer Workouts

Tips for Summer Workouts

As the weather gets warmer, it is very important to be aware that you must change some habits of your normal workout.  The following are some tips to help your body deal with hot weather, and still have a great exercise session.

 

Adjust your body to summer heat by cutting down your workouts.  During a 10 day period, slowly add to your program until your body is use to the new "hot" environment.  Refrain from doing long endurance activities during the hottest part of the day.

 

The first thing of course it to increase your liquid intake.  You should drink regular unsweetened water, or sports drinks without caffeine.  A good way to test if you are drinking enough, is to observe the color of your urine.  It should be the color of pale lemonade.  Any darker and you are in danger of being dehydrated.  It is important to know that by the time you began to feel thirsty, you are already starting to dehydrate.  Start to drink water 2 hours before your workout, about 20oz, then 10oz every 15 minutes while you are active.

 

Next, don't eat a lot of protein before a workout because it can elevate your body temp.  Save the protein for after to rebuild muscle.

 

Drink your favorite sports drink as a slushy to quickly cool core body temperature to achieve better performance.

 

Be aware of possible heat exhaustion which can lead to very serious medical issues.  Symptoms are feeling sluggish, muscle weakness, sweating more than normal, accelerated heart rate, dizziness, clammy skin, and nausea.  If these symptoms persist for 30 minutes, call a doctor, or go to emergency.

 

Always use sun screen even if you are swimming and think you won't get sun damage on the parts of your body that are under water.  Look for water resistant and SPF of 30 or higher.

 

If you travel to a place in higher elevation than you are use to, be aware of altitude sickness.  Symptoms are dizziness, shortness of breath, nausea, headache, fatigue and confusion.  Give yourself a few days to acclimate to the change in oxygen before doing something too physical.